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Bob Baron
Bob Baron
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Satire: Will Santa Claus bring cash or coal for reclassification?

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The holiday season is here. Christmas trees, dazzling lights and old man winter all around.

With Santa making his grand arrival in just a few weeks, there are many high school coaches around the area putting in their request to the big guy for something very special – a new region.

It happens every couple of years. The powers that be at the AHSAA meet and reclassify schools based on attendance numbers. The more kids in the school, the larger the classification. We get that part. Where will these teams land?

That’s the million dollar question.

As I look in my crystal ball, with help from Santa’s elves, I have an idea on each team:


Jasper – The Vikings are dreaming of 5A after two years of serving in Folsom Prison. How tough was 6A Region 6? Three of the final four teams out of the northern division in the playoffs were from that region and Clay-Chalkville ended up winning the state championship. That is tough, no matter who you are. Santa’s elves whispered that the move to 5A may end up under coach Philip Bailey’s tree and he may have Cordova in his stocking.

Cordova – Coach Shane Smothers is asking Santa for a move to class 4A, but it looks like that wish may not come true. The grumpy elf came by and said, “5A with a twist! For the first time, Cordova will be in a region with the city slickers from Jasper.” That may or not be what arrives under the tree, but wouldn’t that be an interesting turn?

Dora – 4A is a natural fit for the Bulldogs and coach Chavis Williams has been a good boy this year. The elves say move them away from the likes of Oneonta and Etowah. I agree. We need to see Dora with Haleyville and Hamilton. Maybe Curry could end up in the stocking as well.

Curry – The 4A woes are not going away anytime soon for Curry. Chippy the Elf came through Santa’s workshop and suggested they move regions and settle in with Dora. Not a bad idea, if we must keep Curry in 4A. It would make for a natural county rivalry game and good gate. Coach D.J. Emerson needs to be real picky on his non-region opponents to build a little confidence in his squad. With a year under his belt, look for improvements.

Oakman & Carbon Hill – I don’t see much movement at all with these two teams. It looks like more of the same with possibly a few changes. I’ll need to have a talk with the coaching staff from both teams because if Winfield ends back up in the region, Santa may have put them on the naughty list.

Winston County – Coach Mark Mitchell will be returning a lot of talent, which will bode well for his chances in class 2A. Santa may take it easy on him and put the Yellow Jackets in a spot to be very competitive over the next two seasons.

Addison, Meek, Lynn and Sumiton Christian – Hello, class 1A! Welcome back, Addison! We’ve
missed you. Everyone else hasn’t though. I predict the Bulldogs drop back down to 1A and will compete in the same region as the Meek Tigers. Santa will probably send those two to extreme North Alabama and keep Sumiton Christian along with Lynn a little closer to teams like Berry, Marion County and Pickens County.

We should know officially this coming Tuesday as the AHSAA will conduct it’s meeting in Montgomery. All we can do is speculate and depend on the advice of Santa and his elves at this point. How will it end for some teams? Some will get what they wish for. Some will get a chunk of coal. Welcome to the cruel world of AHSAA reclassification.